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WWE Monday Night Raw 3/26 Review

Doo doo doot doo… Doo doo doot doo doo… IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN! Awwww shit, this is the last Raw before WrestleMania! Can you believe it? I definitely can because I am ready for the hype to be over with, and the fighting to get started. A couple more nights of hype (including Smackdown) which begs the question “what else can the WWE do to add more drama?”. The drama is at an all-time high and I don’t think there is really much the WWE can do, or should do. One thing I would like to see is Rock and Cena brawl. I do think it could add a itsy bitsy more drama to the bout even it was just for a few seconds. The brawl could get broken up almost immediately, and I know it would take the feud up one tiny notch. The feud is at a super heated level already, so it probably will not go down… I think it would’ve been a cool way to go out, though. Let’s get to the review of the final Raw before ‘Mania. Will things ever be the same agaaaaain!?

SPOILERS FOLLOW

Randy Orton & Sheamus v Kane & Daniel Bryan (B-): The tradition of involving two separate feuds in a Tag Team match works yet again. This was a fitting way to start Raw. Especially if you just got done watching the hour special on Rock-Cena. There wasn’t more talking on top of that, Raw just went right into a match. The crowd was a little quiet for the start, but got more into it as it went along. When Orton received the hot tag, then the crowd really woke up. I was thinking “alright this is the beginning of the end here” when Orton was tagged. That wasn’t the case, though, as Kane and D-Bry (yes I just called him that) were able to take the momentum back from Mr. Roboto. The match goes back and forth until AJ gets involved. Her distraction allows Kane to chokeslam Sheamus, which then allows Bryan to pin Sheamus.

Will Bryan pin Sheamus again this Sunday? I tend to think so, as he has been a top heel in the company for months now. He should be rewarded for that with a win at WrestleMania, but you never know, and I still have yet to make my predictions that are sure to go wrong.

David Otunga v Santino Marella (N/A): Before the bout starts Cole is introduced as the official commentator for Team Johnny… Whatever that means. It’s not like Cole wasn’t going to be praising Team Johnny the whole time already. I am just glad Cole isn’t wrestling this year. Also, Vickie Guerrero is going to be waving the Team Johnny flag. Hornswoggle is waving the Team Playa flag, and when he gets in the middle of the ring, Otunga tries to take him out. Santino isn’t about to let that happen, so he goes to KO Otunga with the Cobra. The Miz comes out before Santino can hit Otunga, and hits Santino with a Skull Crushing Finale. The best part of this whole segment was when Johnny welcomed Miz to Team Teddy, and then quickly said “err Team Johnny”. Fucking Laurinaitis can’t even get his own name right. And people give Lillian Garcia shit for messing up Ryder’s name.

When there really isn’t anything left to hype, but you have to fill air time, the video package is the way to go. Plus, the WWE is awesome at it. This one about Undertaker and Triple H was top-notch.

Eve v Kelly Kelly (D-): Yelling, horrible rope running, and more yelling. Yep, it was your typical Kelly Kelly match. It also had an awkward finish. Kelly blatantly moved herself into position for Eve’s moonsault, and thankfully after Eve missed, that was the end of the bout. The WWE is still promoting the Tag Team match between Kelly and Maria versus Beth and Eve. The word on da streets is that Maria broke her ribs.

CM Punk v Christian (N/A): Jericho shows up on the big screen, once again. He says since Punk’s parents were married after Punk was born, then he is a bastard. I guess that is the definition, but it certainly was a stretch. CM Snow (if you watch Game of Thrones then you know what’s up) is mighty pissed, and he takes it all out on Christian. There is no official bout because Christian Pearl Harbor’d Punk before the bell could ring. Punk quickly turned it around and got the best of Christian. So much so that it looks like Christian might be out of WrestleMania. Bummer, but it isn’t for sure yet. I am curious about what the reasoning behind pulling Christian was, if he is in fact out.

The Jericho-Punk program really didn’t need this, but it certainly doesn’t hurt it either. Out of all the matches at ‘Mania, the Jericho-Punk bout is probably the hardest one for me to predict. I can see it going either way.

Brodus Clay v Curt Hawkins (N/A): Squashasaurus. Oh, and Lawler kept calling Hawkins “Curtis” during the match. #CurtisHawkins

Big Show v Primo (N/A): All you can do is laugh at the WWE Tag Team division. Long, long… Long gone are the days of the WWE Tag Titles being belts of prestige. I mean, they couldn’t find anybody else to do the “talent enhancing” besides Primo? Guess not. Before I can keep bumming out on the sad state of the WWE Tag Titles, Cody Rhodes came out to make fun of Big Show some more. Cody has done some excellent work in this feud. My favorite quote from his tonight was “I gotta take a Big Show”. The WWE has taken a “Big Show” all over the tag division for years now.

Ryder and Eve have a little segment where they actually acted semi-decent. Usually they are so horrible, but tonight was passable. Ryder, you better stay at Eve’s hotel broski, and pass on staying with your team. There is no “I” in team, but there is no “U” in Eve if you don’t stay at her room.

The Great Khali v Mark Henry (N/A): Yo, Mark Henry hits Khali with the WSS, and the match is over with. Wow, that was some impressive strength. Sure he is one of the strongest dudes to ever step foot inside the squared circle, but wowzers that was crazy. Post-match Henry is about to take out Teddy, and Booker is there to save The Playa Man. The last member of Team Playa = King Bookaaah!

If you have read my reviews leading up to this point, then you know I think that Cena and Rock should’ve brawled by this point. The amount of crap these two have talked and no fists of fury? Well, the WWE stuck to that tonight as the show went off the air with the Rock and Cena staring each other down. It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed the banter between these two (I have been all ears when they take center stage), it is the whole idea that they really dislike one another and nobody has hit the other with a double-leg or thrown a headbutt. Even The Rock said tonight how on a personal level he doesn’t like Cena. Anyways, the words were intense, and I really can’t wait for their match this Sunday regardless. It is going to be epic for sure.

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My 100th review is all over with, and WrestleMania is just six days away now. We’re close… we’re close.

Dayton Marinkovich

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