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TNA Impact Wrestling 3/29 Review

I am waiting on the edge of my seat to find out what Hulk Hogan has to say after last week’s episode went off the air before the Hulkster could utter a word. Alright, maybe I am not on the edge of my seat, but I want to hear how Hogan can possibly ruin this company anymore than he did with his first run. TNA is acting like Hulk is still undecided about becoming GM, but we all know it is just a matter of time before Hulk accepts. Just when TNA was semi-consistent in putting together good shows… Hogan is back in charge. Oh well, before I dis everything that went down during Hogan’s take over; I will take an optimistic approach to this. I cannot predict the future as my predictions sure to go wrong clearly display, so maybe putting Hogan in charge can work? (insert Charles in Charge theme song, but with Hogan’s name replace Charles here)


Dixie informs us that she will meet with Hogan later on. She wants to know whether he accepts or declines the position of GM by tonight. Before Hogan accepts tonight (which he will) I want to hear his reasons for the delayed response. What is it? Don’t tell me he wanted to find Abyss before he accepted so he could give him his Hall of Fame ring again. Actually, the whole storyline of Hogan supporting Abyss by giving him his ring a while back wasn’t all that bad; it was their approach to it after. The main points that I found lame were how Abyss would always wear the ring like it gave him some power, and not to mention the changing of his music and ring gear was completely ridiculous. He should have remained a monster with subtle babyface undertones, but instead they changed him into this lame over-the-top babyface.

Roode comes out to deliver a decent promo despite letting us know last week (through his lawyer) that he wasn’t going to show up until Lockdown. Roode’s lawyer was Shane Haste who is one half of the awesome tag team known as TMDK (The Mighty Don’t Kneel). The other half, Mikey Nicholls, is one of the police officers who stands in the ring this week while Roode talks bad about Dixie Carter and James Storm. Instead of using Haste and Nicholls for these small roles, how about signing them to a contract and inserting them immediately into the Tag Team Title picture? Anyways, this segment ends with Bully Ray sneaking up on Storm after Storm threatens Roode. This sets up the main event for tonight, which will be Bully Ray and Bobby Roode taking on James Storm.

Rayne and Gail Kim are all back to being best friends forever because Kim gave Madison Rayne a crown and told her she will always be queen. Smart move by Kim there as Rayne loved sporting the crown previously. This is sure to keep Rayne on Kim’s side, but we all know there is one true queen of wrestling.

Madison Rayne v Velvet Sky (C-): Velvet is obviously the next Knockout that will be receiving a shot at Gail Kim’s belt, and her promo post-match cements that. I say that Velvet is the obvious choice to be the next #1 contender before even hearing her promo because she is booked to look pretty strong in this bout against Rayne. Madison was on a roll before her loss to Gail Kim at Victory Road, and Velvet took care of her rather easily.

Here we go with this “weird stealth camera man” stuff. Hogan and Dixie are talking on a park bench while a camera peaks out a little left of a post or something. Dixie and Hogan aren’t doing a bad job with the acting, and Dixie seems to be getter better every time out. Hogan’s response to not wanting to accept right away is that Roode has TNA under a dark cloud. Hogan will think about it but only because of everything Dixie has done for him. Overall, a solid segment that answered my question in a believable manner. Still, how do you not notice the creeper with the camera?

Angle is talking about how Hardy is a crybaby because he wants a rematch at Lockdown. I really don’t know what to say about Angle’s promos anymore. They are just so odd. Basically, if Hardy can win tonight then he gets his rematch.

Aries has defeated every X-Division wrestler in TNA time after time… After time. Now he is setting his sights on Bully Ray for what he did during the 4-Way X-Division Championship match last week. Not sure if Aries is face now, but comparing himself to James Storm and challenging one of the top heels in Bully Ray sure makes it seem that way. Plus, Aries wants to fight alongside Storm tonight.

Matt Morgan v Crimson (C): I’ve had my fair share of complaints about Matt Morgan and Crimson, but this match was a solid bout between the two big men. Crimson came out attacking while adding heel characteristics like taunting and also choking Morgan up to the last split-second. Morgan also showed his athleticism and threw some punches that didn’t look weaker than rights and lefts from The Genius. The fight ends after both men are counted out while brawling on the outside.

Man, Abyss is pretty awesome as Joseph Parks. I don’t know where this is going, and I don’t want to. See, Abyss can flourish when he is given a role that he can truly commit to.

Mr. Anderson v Jeff Hardy (C+): This is totally off the subject of this match, but during this fight Taz and Tenay plug the return of The Motor City Machine Guns. If TNA would sign TMDK, then TNA’s tag division would be so entertaining with just the three teams of Joe-Magnus, TMDK, and MCMG. Alright now to this match. The crowd is always a big part of any match, and the Universal Studio crowd actually added to this one. The match wasn’t anything spectacular, but the crowd reacting nicely made it that much more fun. Angle’s wicked ball shot to Hardy helps Anderson get the win. Looks like Hardy won’t be getting that rematch after all.

ODB and EY are talking over their wedding attire with a wedding planner. ODB and EY set the date for 3 days before Lockdown inside a steel cage. Being that I am doing this review on National Cleavage Day, this segment was rather appropriate.

Next up it is Eric Bischoff’s time to talk and have nobody listen. Unfortunately, since I am doing this review I have to listen to the douche bag. Bischoff wanted Sting gone and so he says he can check that off of his list, even though he had nothing to do with it. Moving on, Eric invites Garett Bischoff out to the ring. Eric tells Garett that he wants him to have a match with Gunner at Lockdown, to which Garett replies “I am not going anywhere!”. Damn, so not only is Garett going to wrestle at Lockdown, but he is determined to make a career out of wrestling. Now that’s a double whammy.

Austin Aries & James Storm v Bully Ray & Bobby Roode (B-): Nice way to start off the match with the X-Division Champion battling the World Champion. They worked well together except for one minor botch when Aries ducked a clothesline, but fell afterwards out of nowhere and sold it like he was hit. I also dug the dynamic between Aries and Ray during this main event. Real heel stuff from Ray as he talked smack to Aries the whole time by saying things like “I ain’t gonna pin you yet”. It was also smart to have Aries take the brunt of the beating because it built up the hot tag to Storm, who couldn’t wait to get in there and rough up Roode. Storm came in to a nice pop from the crowd, and just when he was about to get his hands on Roode… Bully Ray took him out. The team work between Roode and Ray didn’t last long, though, as Roode accidentally spits beer into Ray’s face which sets up Storm for his super kick.

Oh, and Hogan accepts. Like there was ever a real dilemma here.


Another solid episode of Impact. Let’s hope that Hulk’s role doesn’t mess this nice little run up anytime soon. I am all for legends like Hulkster being involved in wrestling somehow, but TNA needs to keep the majority of the spotlight on their younger talent right now. This main reason behind why I am not stoked about Sting wanting to return to wrestling full-time. The ratings stay the same with Hogan and Sting, so clearly they aren’t a ratings booster. What could boost them is word getting around that TNA is pushing the talent that are in their prime while providing interesting storylines.

Dayton Marinkovich

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